THANK YOU VETERANS

I am sure each and every person in this country is appreciative of our men and women that have sacrificed everything just to protect us when need be. They go to other countries, a million miles away from their loved ones, just to make sure we are safe. But then again, maybe not everyone is appreciative. There is so much chaos in this world, in our own country, from our own people, that we have to be protected from. And who done/does that? Our service men and women.

I wonder if everyone really understands what it is that people give up when they choose to fight for their country? They have to sacrifice time away from their families, and that is if they choose to have a family with such constant distance. There are mothers and fathers who have to hug their babies goodbye when they leave for service, and a lot of times it is a last good bye. Those men and woman accept the fact that it could be a last good bye. Their reality, going in, is the acknowledgment and willingness of dying for you and I. People who they have never met before. Why? Because to them,  you and I are part of a country that is worthy of fighting for. Without those brave individuals, we would surely fall.

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When  you tell a soldier, past or present, Thank You…..I hope that you have your heart in it. Lord knows their heart has to be spread all over the place. Between their country, wives, husbands, children, mothers, fathers, siblings. The amount of life that they give up could be seen as unreasonable. First they have to train. Then they have to be sent wherever their country sends them. Then they have to work every day on their strength and character, while they sit and wait for an attack they know for certain is coming. For the ones that are not active, still have to sit and wait. They know at any moment they may be called to duty. The retired heros/ Veterens, will forever have images in their heads that no amount of time fades. They have absence in their hearts from all of the time they missed with their families.

There is just not a big enough Thank You for what the military does for us on a daily basis. The men and women, past and present, that serve our country, deserve more than what can ever be repaid.

Mental Thought: Even though it seems so small, still give Thanks to your protectors…

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Four Legs Can Break Our One Heart

This is a little out of the ordinary for me when it comes to Blogs. I have recently had a terrible heartbreak. Some, I know will find it simply ridiculous. I have to admit, in the past, I have thought people were being a little absurd when they would complain about this type of thing. Seeing that there is so much going on in the world, and they had the audacity to be saddened by something so insignificant. I learned this past week that we can not control our heart. There are things that pull at our heart strings, simply by accident. Sometimes those things can have four legs.

I have had pets my whole life. When I was a child, I become very attached to a cat, that my dad felt was more of an annoyance than a pet, so he took it for a “ride”. I was completely devastated. It still breaks my heart to think of it, and maybe it is not because of losing the pet, but because of the heartless act. Point being, that was the last pet that I whole heartily Loved. I was 12. I have cared for animals since then, sure. But I have just put it in my head that they come and they go. I refused to let my heart soften for another. Until…….

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Three months ago, my son turned ten. He had made a comment that everyone had an animal in the home besides him. Both of my daughters have cats to call their own. So I got the bright idea to search him out a pet for his birthday. I found the cutest little guy. A Chiweenie we named,  Mason. I was so excited to give it to my son. Unfortunately, He loved him for a few days, but the responsibility became overwhelming, so he lost interest pretty quickly. Just as all of the other animals, Mason became my responsibility. I fed him, bathed him, played with him, potty trained him, and he was by my side all day every day. This little guy won my heart. Just the sweetest pup. I let my guard down and I fell in love with him.

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Being with an animal every day, with no breaks, besides the grocery runs and paying bills, in which some cases he tagged along, makes it easy for them to become part of the family. It also helps when they show how much they love and admire us. He was always so happy to see me, even if it was just returning from an outside potty run. Sometimes he even acted as though he did not want to go out, simply because he did not want to leave my side. Of course those times I would just walk out with him, he would go do his business, while watching me every second, and then run back full speed to me. A person just does not realize how much they care about their pets until…….

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Five days ago, at 10:00 a.m. , I let Mason out to potty. It was just a tad bit cool outside, but he went straight for the gravel and laid down. I just figured the ground was really warm, and it felt good to him, so I just let him lay there. 10:30 a.m. I went out to call for him. Usually by now he has already come scratching on the door. I still was not terribly concerned, because he loved running around playing with our four cats. Well three of them, because one is a crabby pants and has no use for any other animals. I figured I would just let him play for awhile longer, until I noticed all of the cats were lying around. I called, and called. I walked the yard, and he did not come to me. I started getting paranoid. By that afternoon, I was just sick. We live on five acres off of the road, so I really never feared for him to be out alone. When my husband got home, we searched until dark. One last call out for him, and just beyond the wood line, a coyote yelled out for his pack. On the other side of the property two or three more  yelled back. At that very moment, my heart broke into a million little pieces. I knew that was the end of my sweet little boy. There was no way that a four month old Chiweenie could make it out on his own in the woods. Especially when he was Not alone.

We have not completely gave up hope. We have still continued to look for him. We watch for him when we are coming in and out of the property, posted on every single animal and online sale sites, and placed signs up. Yesterday we actually got a call that someone seen a small dog in the woods on their property. Though it was a mile down the road, we still took that chance that it could be him. Not that it wasn’t him, but we had no luck with the search. I seem to get my hopes up every time I get a notification from my media posts, and every time the phone rings. It is a hard let down when it is just someone saying I hope you find him.

Moral of my story is, please do not every judge someone because their pet has become a big part of their life. Our hearts can not help who or what we love. I know that I will not ever get over losing Mason. I may not ever be able to let myself go to that place again, to love another animal this way, but it was wonderful while it lasted. He was a very loyal little guy that would have made a very wonderful doggie some day. I hope and pray that someone just picked him up and gave him a  home, instead of my fear that the coyotes got him. With him missing in the middle of the day, gives me that little bit of hope that he was stolen. I also have hope that once the people see the signs that took him, maybe they will see that he was loved so very much, and his family would greatly appreciate him coming home.

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Mental thought: Our love runs deeper than we allow ourselves to believe. If we just gave those four legs a chance, we would see how those innocent,loyal hearts of theirs, can change our own hearts.

Finding The Real Deal

We have all felt it. The desperation of living without one simple thing. One little emotion that could make each and every persons world a better place. The sinking feeling in your chest. The butterfly affect.

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The first time I ever felt real Love was when I gave birth to my first child. There was nothing like it. Just thinking about it feels me with an unexplained fullness. The second, third, and fourth sweet bundles, gave me that exact same feeling. It is the best love to date. With that being said, there is something about the love of a partner. Someone that we can face this world with, without it feeling so, alone.

I have covered the best feeling in the world. Now for the worst.

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Unfortunately I have placed myself in the arms of some very self loathing individuals, that in return ,shared their punishment on themselves with me. Between drugs, alcohol, and adultery, there was no end to their own selves soul mutilation. In the past, I thought that it was just what I deserved. It was a punishment for being so easy to trust. Punishment for being quick to let myself belong to them. I never respected myself as a young person. I was never taught to do so. When I was placed on a pedestal, if even for a moment, then I was in love. I ran from anything good, because in the beginning, I never believed good existed. If it was too good to be true, than it was just that. After awhile, I just learned each and every person in this world was in it for themselves. There were not good people who wanted the best for one another…….Only living for what they could get for themselves. No lie was too big, No amount of respect was too small.

For fifteen years, between two marriages, I was lost. I became a broken individual that wanted so desperately to find someone I could relate with. I just wanted a friend. I wanted someone that could understand me, and could relate with who I was, what I have gone through. The desire was great, to really be loved for who I was, the good and the bad,  and not what I could give them. I feared that I would never be accepted because of my family situation, and the past I had paved all by myself. I wanted better, but knowing I didn’t deserve it. I just wanted respect. I wanted honesty, I wanted trust. I wanted communication. I wanted a, Best Friend………

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When you walk out of something that you vowed to stick with, for better or for worse, you feel like a failure. In all honestly I have to say, that would be the truth. I failed. I failed God. I failed my children. I took an oath that I walked away from. How does that now lead people to perceive me? That my word is no good? That I give up too easily? How does that show my children how to live? When things get too hard, leave? Does it show them that their mother is dishonest? All these things, and more ran through my mind when I was leaving the marriages, that I desperately tried so hard to make work. I became depressed on the occasions when I seen that my efforts were lost. I stuck around for quite some time after I had given up in my heart. That is when the depression grew. So many terrible things go through the mind of an individual that feels they are worthless. Especially if you have your spouse hovering over you telling you so. I had to get out. I had to run from this exhausting place.

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These men in my life, felt the need to bring me down. That way I would never leave, because I didn’t deserve any more than I was getting. I can not even type the words that was said to me, because I do not want to be taken back to that place. I realized after it was all said and done, how I actually failed my children. It was not when I walked away from my vows. It was when I took those vows to begin with. I put myself in a situation that I should have never been in. I said “Yes” to people that deep in my soul I was saying “No” to. I failed when I stayed in a relationship that taught my children that it is okay to be disrespected. I would never allow my children to disrespect me, so why on earth did I allow a man to do so. The desperation of wanting to be loved. Needing a void filled that I never received growing up.

In the middle of my self destruction, when I was in the deepest darkest place,  he was sent to me. blog16

When the latest marriage failed, I was at the end of the rope. Living with my alcoholic father, for the second time, with my children under other roofs. There was just no other way. I done what I felt was best for them at the time, and that was to be somewhere safe, and without reaping the repercussions of my actions. Just thinking of that time in my life brings me to tears. But I would do it again, if need be, because that was the best thing. Luckily my desperation was seen even when I was ignoring it. A friend, my actual only friend, offered me her home. At first it was just for a week, while she was out of town, but then turned into another week, so we could catch up, which turned into a year, and so on. My heart is just overwhelmed thinking of how much she put herself out for me and the kids. It was the only way that I could be with all of them again. As much as I hated for her to help me, it is one of the things I am most grateful for in my life. At that time I was falling deeper into a place of no return. I was socializing with people that were only bringing me down. They were making it okay for me to become less than what was intended for me. I hate to think this, but there is a possibility I would still be in that empty place if not for him.

He popped up just in the nick of time. After a media friend request, and a few weeks of waiting, he finally replied. To him it was a complete shock to hear from me. A friend that had been lost for over 15 years. A friend that would have bent over backwards to save me from my self destruction if given half the chance. A Friend.  At this time I am still in a dead end relationship with someone that was nothing but bad for me. I was continuing the pattern of wanting to be loved by the wrong people. He, My friend, opened my eyes to that fact. Not by being negative, but by making me feel worthy of so much more. He would lift me up every day , through social media messages, texts, calls, and even visits. He helped me when I was saddened by my failure as a parent. He brought a Christmas tree over with ornaments, so that my children might have some sort of holiday. He stepped in and made sure that my financial situation did not stop me from giving them something for Christmas.The way that he done this, was left money on the front porch so that I could not reject his gift, and also making it a birthday gift, so that it was my decision to do with as I seen fit. He never asked for anything in return.

I have never had someone care so much for me and the lives that I brought into this world. I have never felt the overwhelming care, that radiated from this mans heart. But……He was just too good. Ya know, that too good to be true type of thing? It was playing over and over in the back of my mind. To be honest, That was definitely him, too good to be true. But I had one thing going for me. I had the past. I knew him years before. He was the same exact person he was then. Kind, honest, genuine. Living for others. Living to do good, and give God the Glory. So……I chanced it. And just in the nick of time.

As I said, I was dating someone, and he had left the state. He had to take care of a drug habit, that I had no idea about at the time. I told him that I was no longer waiting on him to figure out what he wanted, and I was moving on, and then…….he came home. He tormented me with the reassurance of knowing what he wanted now. Sharing with me, the reason he left was because he had to get clean. I can not lie, I really cared for this person. But he had never shown me anything that my friend had. He had never showed me that I was the most important thing in this world. No one had. I was now, in a dream. I was not giving this up. I was happy.

Five years later, and  here we are. This man has gladly taken over the role of step dad to three of my children and the baby that came from my last marriage in his heart, his daughter. It has been three years since her natural father acknowledged her, and before that it was every two to six months. There has not been a day in five years that I have not felt the overwhelming blessing that this man brings to the table. He was my best guy friend 20 years ago, and he is the same today. I know, no matter what I tell him I have done or not done, he would love me just the same. He is here to walk with me in this world, and not ahead of me. He respects me, he never has lied to me, he does not want more for himself than for me. The four children that I myself brought into this world come first over anything. That right there, is a way to a mothers heart. When  a man can whole heartily accept another mans children. When he sees them as children and not offspring of a past love. I will never be able to share all the good of this man. There is just way too much. I have not one bad thing to say about him. Not one. I know we all can come up with things that drive us nuts, that our partners do. At one time, the things that would drive me nuts about him, he leaves the shower curtain open; He leaves the jar to the q-tips off;  His feet stink; He splatters water on the bathroom mirror. But when you find someone who brings so much good to the table, you gladly accept the things that would normally make you irritated. When you have lived in a life of hell for so long, it is incredibly easy to overlook the petty when someone adores and loves you in the way I have been shown on a daily basis. All we want in life, other than our children to healthy and happy, would be to have our best friend  by our side. Someone that would walk through fire and brimstone for us. Someone that respects and honors us. I had to wait 33 years for mine. A very long wait……….A wait well worth it.

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Misspelled, Misused, and Mislabeled

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I recently started reading over some of my blogs. I noticed that I had punctuation errors, misspelled words, and run on sentences. I noticed these mistakes, even though I made sure to proof read the material before I clicked on the Publish widget. I am now considering that people may think I am an absolute moron, and in return choose not to read anymore of my blogs. I have to admit, I could not blame someone for such judgement. If I were reading a blog or a book with mistake after mistake then I can only assume, I would be just as any other individual. I may become uninterested in what I am reading. Its possible that I would not be able to take them seriously if they are unable to use words the way they were intended. Fact is, the persons material that I am reading has a life just as important as the next blogger, and maybe even more interesting. So why should it be so important to get each and every world correct? I think our true malfunction is our human nature. We tend to see someone that can not spell, or can not put the right words in a sentence as uneducated, ignorant, unsophisticated, and my favorite, a redneck. Personally I feel we are merely mislabeling people. Is it not also accurate truth that even the most educated person, will make mistakes? We do not all depend on spell check, or whatever other kind of software that helps you put your sentences together. Not everyone comes from an educated back ground, yet people still enjoy writing and sharing their own thoughts and life experiences with people.

Ironically, I have a slight pet peeve when it comes to spelling things correctly. Sadly it is just not a very strong pet peeve. When I reread my words, I surely made a mental note to put that on the top of my list. Do not only proof read, reread…and more than twice. 

In this specific area, Northern Alabama, there is that one little tidbit that one might think, separates the graduates from the drop outs. Pronunciation. I am here to tell you, that is just not so. Some highly educated individuals choose to stick to their southern roots, and continue to use the slang words that they were taught when they were younger. As with the drop outs, they try their hardest to sound educated and that comes with making sure each and every i is dotted and t is crossed. All words are in their correct place, and quotations are accurate .I myself am not highly educated, ( surprise, surprise) and do make mistakes, yet I find myself always correcting my children, and giving my husband a look when they say “thang”, instead of thing, or “yeller” instead of yellow. I understand that living in the south, we tend to let our words come out any ole way. Sometimes we use it as a joke, but mostly it is just the way we were taught to speak from our elders.

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Even though I am just as guilty as the next person in spelling and saying words completely wrong,  I feel speaking correctly is important. And here is why…………………..

When a person enters a place of employment and someone speaks with sixth grade grammar,  that person will feel the desire to walk right back out the door and take their business elsewhere. In a professional establishment, it is expected for the person sitting behind the desk to at least sound educated, whether that be the case or not. Our country slang is thought nothing of, as long as we are at a drive through window, or on a farm buying hay. In a bank, attorneys office, and even the people that call us wanting to sell us windows, we want someone who can speak plainly. It is no different than having a phone conversation with a foreigner. We get so uptight because we can not understand them. We want them to speak plainly. We want them to speak English. It is just a fact southerners have a slang, and we use words that make no sense at times. Unfortunately, a majority of us often misuse words, such as their, they’re and there, Or here and hear. I wonder why the people that came up with the English language did not think that far ahead. Was intelligence not a factor then? Were we way smarter at that time, and didn’t have to worry about screwing it up as we do now? Why else would we make so many words sound the same and mean completely different things?  One might say us Southerners have pretty much mutilated the English language, not to mention added to it. For example, Ain’t. It did not use to be a word. But by goodness it is now. Ain’t is used more than the word Isn’t  or am not, ever was.

Bottom line, between our southern drawl, and our mispronunciation, a lot of people see us as dumb. Add overhauls and bad teeth, and, well…..that is for another blog.

I have found myself being reserved about even saying certain words when I am joking around. I do not want my children to hear me say taters and maters, and think that is the correct pronunciation. I know this is all so unimportant, and does not change who we are as people. We can be the smartest individuals that ever walked the face of the earth, and choose to say bitness and chester drawers, just because we like the way it sounds. But just think, we have children that are following in our footsteps. Their lives will be much easier if we can teach them to speak so that their peers will take them seriously. When someone is taken seriously, it gives them determination to succeed.  If they learn to speak appropriately, then they have a much better chance at having a career with potential. I have a child that intends to go to college to be a teacher. I have a feeling it is time to buckle down with my English, so that when she gets to college she will not be caught off guard with someone says, ” what does that mean.?”

By the way, did you know Britches is an actual word? It is some sort of pant item. Like a pair of capri crop pants. I did not learn that until my early thirties. I honestly thought growing up that it was just a term that my parents used for their jeans and slacks. I always cringed as an adult, when hearing that world. Then I found out it was an actual thing…….Regardless, I still do not use it.

Mental Thought: Whether we do it for fun, or just know no better, there will always be a snobbish fixation on pronunciation.

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P.S. I am very interested in seeing how many people pay close enough attention to this blog to find my mistakes. 🙂

Compassion

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     Once the human race understands that life is not always black and white, then maybe we will gain some compassion in this world. We are always thinking that if someone is not “Just Like” us then they aren’t “Normal”.
Think about this for a minute,  “We have no idea what is going on, or what went on, behind closed doors yesterday, or today.”  When we see someone that is ragged, or angry, slow or just inattentive, we ask things like, “Where did this  person come from?”
We as human beings, are too nosy, judgmental, and/or fake. We are too concerned about situations that have no direct affect on us. We are too selfish to try and gain the ability of empathy.
I challenge you to release your shallow self , and open your mind to someone you find nothing in common with.  Just listen to what they have…

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The Importance of being a Housewife/Mother

I know this may get some peoples gears rusted, but it is just how I feel. I do not expect everyone to understand or agree with my blogs. They are mostly opinionated, and they state that in the category.

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I have been a House Wife, and Stay at Home Mother for more years than not. There are more reasons behind it than just wanting to be at home. I am sure there are plenty of mothers that Want to be at home but can not afford it. I am not saying that I can afford it, because it has been a struggle each and every paycheck. There have been days that I hate myself for not trying harder to bring money into the home. Those days being birthdays, and Christmas, the times we could take a vacation, but no money. The struggle is real, but somehow we always manage. I have a precious husband who loves and understands my way of thinking, and sympathizes with why I feel the way that I do. If not for him, it would be much more stressful than not.

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The way I see it, if something means so much to you, then it is probably destined for you to have whatever it is that you are wanting. A lot of the times, especially material wise, the things you want so badly, do nothing to change your life, therefore I attempt to not hold on to those types of wants. Of course I love a good pair of shoes or a nice handbag, but I also know that I do not need it to survive. I do however need my family happy, and I need the time with them that makes that a possibility. That to me is the most important thing, making my family happy. I believe with all of my heart that I was put here to give birth to my four little people, and help them venture out into this world, and stand beside the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. I applaud the working mothers who can work from 8 to 5, come home and do dinner, eat, clean up, have time to do stress free homework, make sure everyone bathes and brushed their teeth, sets out school cloths and snacks, throw a few loads of cloths in the washer/dryer, iron the next days attire, try your hardest to squeeze in time for your husband and children before lying down and doing the exact same thing over again the next day.

I whole heartily feel that I need to be home where I can live a normal paced life. I can make sure my house is tidy, everyone has clean cloths, shop for my families household supplies, groceries, and clothing items, tend to our family pets, take my children to their dental and doctor appointments, go to school functions without asking for time off,be home when they are sick without the stress of missing work, and making the boss angry, or having to depend on family members to get my job done.

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I tried the 8 to 5 job for the first time this past year since my youngest had started school. I had no reason not to get out of the house. All of the kids were in school all day, so why not?  Within the first month I had missed work due to one of the kids being sick. There were days I was being called to come get them, ( mostly the youngest, because she has my immune system) or just having to miss a whole day of work, sometimes more, and then I myself would contract whatever the child at the time had, so then I was sick. No one wants to volunteer their time to keep a sick child with a fever, and take the chance in getting sick as well. I had to stay home when my kids were sick. I had to stay home when I was sick. Then there were the doctors appointments, check ups, dental appointments. My niece was fighting cancer during this time so there was a day I missed for her surgery. My sister lost someone in her life, so there was a day I missed to be with my niece so my sister could visit them before they left this earth. My dads wife had brain surgery and I took them to the hospital, twice. I then got terribly sick with a stomach issue and that was when I lost my job after fourteen months,  due to so many absences. There is rarely a month that goes by that I am not terribly sick with stomach, bowel, intestine issues anyway. It just makes sense (to me) to be home so that my family does not have anything at all to worry about. I do whatever I can to make their lives easier. That is my job and duty as a mother and housewife. And in return, I am not always worried that a school nurse or receptionist is going to call me to come get the kids. I am not having to constantly pray that today I want get sick ( though I still do that). When someone needs me, I can  happily say, I will be right there. The kids have clean cloths, dinner is cooked, we have movie time, you can walk through the house and not feel gross, and I am not falling over tired all day long because I have not had a moments rest.

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As I said in the beginning, I applaud the mothers who have super powers and can do it all.

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When I was a very young girl, about age 12, my mother began working. She had to start out on second shift due to a seniority thing. When the first shift jobs came available, whoever had more seniority and wanted it, got it. I suppose she never wanted it. She was on second shift for as long as I can remember. She was never home. When she was home, she was always in a bad mood. I have learned that exhaustion will do that to a person. Point being, during some of the most important years of my life, she was not there. She was Always working. We never had play dates, we never had movie nights, we never just sat and talked, such as asking me how school was, did I have a crush, are there mean people hurting my feelings, etc.There were no family dinners. There was no one to help with homework. There was no guidance. So when I was younger, I told myself then that If it were at all possible, I would not work and leave my children wondering if a job was more important than my time with them. I would not feel tired all of the time, and shove them to the side. My mother taught me a valuable lesson. In a backwards way, she taught me that my children and my husband deserved my time, more than some strangers and a petty paycheck that we would spend on nonsense anyway…When you make more money, you only find more things to spend it on. More things to go in debt for. It is possible to live on a small budget, and give my family all of me, Not just the left overs.

Mental Thought : Live in your own shoes………

A Mothers Heart

As I sit here this morning with my three youngest children, I feel privileged, honored, blessed…..Any term of endearment that describes how fortunate I am to be called mom. To be honest, no words can describe that fluttery, full feeling in my heart.

So many woman take for granted the beauty that comes with being a mother. They look at their little people that they have created as a daily task. If one could simply look into the eyes of their children, they would see themselves. The good part of themselves. The innocent part. As a parent, we have the chance to give our children everything that we lacked as a child. Some think material objects are the thing that they lacked the most, some love, some both……

I was never given much as a child. Much of either. Being Material or physical/emotional love. I am not financially able to give my children every little thing that they want, but I will definitely do without my wants to make sure they have theirs. That was not the way of my parents when I was a child. Our needs were barely met, little on our wants. I seen their wants come way before I needs. I will never be considered a selfish mother. I love being able to see the excitement in my child’s face when they know they get to go shopping, a movie, amusement park, or even just for ice cream.

A child sees our time and money as care and concern. They see that if we are willing to spend our hard earned money on the things that they can definitely live without, then they see us caring about their happiness. When we show them that spending time with them is important to us then we are showing them their presence is valued.

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I can promise you one single thing without a doubt. If you ask my children if their mother loves them, they would look at you as though you were asking the dumbest question in the world. They know. And shouldn’t they? Shouldn’t they know just how important their lives are to me?

When we think we have said it enough, then we should say it one more time…..Just to be sure. I love you, should be the last thing your child(ren) hear every night. A mothers comforting, reassuring love is all a child’s soul needs to survive. A soft touch on the head. A tickle here and there. Kiss to the forehead. There are so  many small gestures that mean so much to those little hearts. Maybe not at that direct moment, but I do know once a child reaches adulthood, having lived without those small gestures, can be fatal. Fatal to the child’s spirit.

I have four of those little hearts that came from my womb. I carried them until their little bodies were able to breathe on their own. My heart turned to mush when they were first put in my arms. Each and every birth was as though I had never done it before. The emotions that came with each new life were unlike anything I have felt any other moment. The excitement and joy that came with the looking in their little eyes for the first time.

Now I am faced with the fear as to what kind of adult they are going to become. We can guide them, and love them more than anything imaginable, but they still carry the ultimate choice…….What will they do with their lives?

I see so many children grow into adults with addiction, or become murderers, rapists, child pedophiles. Those people were once a mothers baby, that grew into a child, and then become the adult that they are. It grieves me to think there is a chance that one or even all four of my children could hurt my heart with the demise of their lives in such a terrible way. Meaningless existence. Giving nothing back.

Those things are the reason why it is of utter most importance to teach our children the power of love. Share it with others no matter how many times it is refused. No matter how many times we are hurt, we should still give our love, even to those that are not worthy. Give it ,if only for a chance, that the chain of hate with be broken.

There is not one thing my little ones can do for me to love them less. How can you love someone less when that someone is simply part of your heart? I just pray that God gives me strength when they venture into adulthood, to handle the disappointment they may bring upon my heart. The fear is great, only because of the pain that they will bestow upon themselves. A mother does not want to witness pain and agony brought upon their children no matter where it generates from, but at least if someone hurts our children, we have someone to blame. If it is by their own hand, then we shall surely blame ourselves. We had to of done something so wrong, for our children to choose a path that was not intended. Right?

I say, Wrong……….

This world has a way of corrupting even the most well taught children. God gave us ALL free will. When that free will is turned into an evil pleasure, not only the culprit becomes lost, but so do the ones standing in the path. That path could be high school, a party, college, anywhere that evil exists. We can teach our children the right way, but there will always be temptations brought on by others. We can never fully protect them.

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I have an overwhelmingly good feeling that my children will want to make me proud, and do everything not to disappoint. Because I do not filter the ways of the world. I tell them of all of the bad in the world. I share my experiences and outcomes, in hopes that they do not fall in the same pattern. If they are curious about something, and want to know, then I tell them. I am not a mother who shelters her children from the potential dangers of our world. I would rather scare them into not trying something, than them being curious of something they have never heard of.

I feel it is my job as a mother to do whatever I can to protect my little ones. Maybe I am too honest. Maybe I am too graphic. But I feel confident that showing my children what could happen when having unprotected sex out of wedlock, VIA the internet, will discourage them somewhat. I am hoping complete and total discouragement, I am hoping if/when they are put in that situation, they will remember the images of what could happen. I suppose that is something that I will never know for certain, since children do not generally share those things with their mothers. I also hope giving a somewhat detailed description of what a sick child pedophile would do if they ever got their hands on them, will teach them to keep their distance from strangers. If they are ever put in such a situation, they know to fight until their is no fight left. They know to scream and kick, and bite. They know if at all possible to come to me if able, and we will fix any situation, together.

I am a mother…..my children will be the most important people, and my greatest accomplishments…..I will always love them no matter what they do or do not do. My love for them, is unconditional.  I have A Mothers Heart…..

Mental Thought: If your child comes to you and asks you a question, then answer it. It is our job to teach them. Do not let a stranger do it.

P.S. Have fun with this life……….

being silly