I know this may get some peoples gears rusted, but it is just how I feel. I do not expect everyone to understand or agree with my blogs. They are mostly opinionated, and they state that in the category.
I have been a House Wife, and Stay at Home Mother for more years than not. There are more reasons behind it than just wanting to be at home. I am sure there are plenty of mothers that Want to be at home but can not afford it. I am not saying that I can afford it, because it has been a struggle each and every paycheck. There have been days that I hate myself for not trying harder to bring money into the home. Those days being birthdays, and Christmas, the times we could take a vacation, but no money. The struggle is real, but somehow we always manage. I have a precious husband who loves and understands my way of thinking, and sympathizes with why I feel the way that I do. If not for him, it would be much more stressful than not.
The way I see it, if something means so much to you, then it is probably destined for you to have whatever it is that you are wanting. A lot of the times, especially material wise, the things you want so badly, do nothing to change your life, therefore I attempt to not hold on to those types of wants. Of course I love a good pair of shoes or a nice handbag, but I also know that I do not need it to survive. I do however need my family happy, and I need the time with them that makes that a possibility. That to me is the most important thing, making my family happy. I believe with all of my heart that I was put here to give birth to my four little people, and help them venture out into this world, and stand beside the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. I applaud the working mothers who can work from 8 to 5, come home and do dinner, eat, clean up, have time to do stress free homework, make sure everyone bathes and brushed their teeth, sets out school cloths and snacks, throw a few loads of cloths in the washer/dryer, iron the next days attire, try your hardest to squeeze in time for your husband and children before lying down and doing the exact same thing over again the next day.
I whole heartily feel that I need to be home where I can live a normal paced life. I can make sure my house is tidy, everyone has clean cloths, shop for my families household supplies, groceries, and clothing items, tend to our family pets, take my children to their dental and doctor appointments, go to school functions without asking for time off,be home when they are sick without the stress of missing work, and making the boss angry, or having to depend on family members to get my job done.
I tried the 8 to 5 job for the first time this past year since my youngest had started school. I had no reason not to get out of the house. All of the kids were in school all day, so why not? Within the first month I had missed work due to one of the kids being sick. There were days I was being called to come get them, ( mostly the youngest, because she has my immune system) or just having to miss a whole day of work, sometimes more, and then I myself would contract whatever the child at the time had, so then I was sick. No one wants to volunteer their time to keep a sick child with a fever, and take the chance in getting sick as well. I had to stay home when my kids were sick. I had to stay home when I was sick. Then there were the doctors appointments, check ups, dental appointments. My niece was fighting cancer during this time so there was a day I missed for her surgery. My sister lost someone in her life, so there was a day I missed to be with my niece so my sister could visit them before they left this earth. My dads wife had brain surgery and I took them to the hospital, twice. I then got terribly sick with a stomach issue and that was when I lost my job after fourteen months, due to so many absences. There is rarely a month that goes by that I am not terribly sick with stomach, bowel, intestine issues anyway. It just makes sense (to me) to be home so that my family does not have anything at all to worry about. I do whatever I can to make their lives easier. That is my job and duty as a mother and housewife. And in return, I am not always worried that a school nurse or receptionist is going to call me to come get the kids. I am not having to constantly pray that today I want get sick ( though I still do that). When someone needs me, I can happily say, I will be right there. The kids have clean cloths, dinner is cooked, we have movie time, you can walk through the house and not feel gross, and I am not falling over tired all day long because I have not had a moments rest.
As I said in the beginning, I applaud the mothers who have super powers and can do it all.
When I was a very young girl, about age 12, my mother began working. She had to start out on second shift due to a seniority thing. When the first shift jobs came available, whoever had more seniority and wanted it, got it. I suppose she never wanted it. She was on second shift for as long as I can remember. She was never home. When she was home, she was always in a bad mood. I have learned that exhaustion will do that to a person. Point being, during some of the most important years of my life, she was not there. She was Always working. We never had play dates, we never had movie nights, we never just sat and talked, such as asking me how school was, did I have a crush, are there mean people hurting my feelings, etc.There were no family dinners. There was no one to help with homework. There was no guidance. So when I was younger, I told myself then that If it were at all possible, I would not work and leave my children wondering if a job was more important than my time with them. I would not feel tired all of the time, and shove them to the side. My mother taught me a valuable lesson. In a backwards way, she taught me that my children and my husband deserved my time, more than some strangers and a petty paycheck that we would spend on nonsense anyway…When you make more money, you only find more things to spend it on. More things to go in debt for. It is possible to live on a small budget, and give my family all of me, Not just the left overs.
Mental Thought : Live in your own shoes………