Accidentally on Purpose

She came into my life 10 years ago, and even after a failed marriage to her father, she stayed. She has always managed to make a day seemingly brighter, even during a storm. Her beautiful face is and has always been something to look forward to. 

I know that not everyone gets along very well with their step-children/parents. Sometimes there is jealousy, and/or disciplinary issues. I had never been a step-parent before my step-daughter came into my life, so this new title was something I feared. Would she like me and/or would I like her? Was she going to be one of those hellion kids who does every thing possible to make life intolerable? I assure you, she was anything but……

Being a stepparent is only as hard as we make it. One can choose to feel defeated, or embrace this life that we are now responsible for. I personally believe that a lack of communication can bring negative issues. I felt the need to really get to know this child, and vice versa. This young lady needed to feel confident that I genuinely cared for her, and did not, nor ever would see her as a nuisance. If one does in fact see a step child or any child for that matter,  as an inconvenience, then you are the one with issues, and need a reality check.

The most devastating thing about being a step parent is if/when you are no longer a step parent. If the marriage dissolves, with it goes the title.

I can not pinpoint exactly what it was that caused me to feel so deeply for this child. Maybe I see part of myself in her. Maybe she just made it easy. Either way, as the years have passed, after the parting of ways between her father and I, I have fallen even more in love with her. I could not love her more if she came from me. I get butterflies in my belly when I know that she is coming to visit.  And sure, she probably tells her father, and whoever else that she comes to visit her sister, but I know she loves me. I know that even if she and I did not share blood with another person, she would still come to grab a hug on occasion. Why, after so many years of no more step titles, do we carry on a relationship? Because my friends, sometimes Love is Accidentally on Purpose

Happy 19th Birthday AmberCole. In me, you will have whatever you want. A parental adviser or simply a Friend.

*Special Thanks to “Mom” for the influence, and the permission to Love your daughter…

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