This Blog is very off topic for me. But it is something that has hit a nerve.
A local news station shared an old story on a public forum this past week. It was pertaining to a gentleman who had been ordered to pay alimony to his ex wife. He had decided to bring the alimony payment in pennies. The judge put him behind bars for doing so. I find it humorous, and In all honesty, I may have done the same thing.
Alimony is just Dumb to me. I personally find it as a lazy persons way to receive money that they have not worked for.
So many people on the forum, after I added my two cents ( no punt intended) decided that I was the one in the wrong, and here were some of their opinions.
1.So if a woman makes self sacrificing decisions for the betterment of the couple & gives up opportunities personally to better the career of her spouse, because they are working together as a team, she gets nothing for those sacrifices and he gets to walk with all the benefits of her labor? BS.
Well….My opinion on this is……That self sacrificing decision, was just that…HER decision. If she gave up an opportunity for her husbands career, it is a choice SHE made. She stayed home. She shared in his money that he made at THAT TIME, while she was at home. She received clothing, housing, food, shopping for significant and insignificant items, He took complete care of her and the children at that time, yet now that they are no longer together, and she is capable of working, he STILL should have to do all of that? Child support ends at 18. Why? Because that child is old enough to get a job and take care of him/herself.. And she does get something for her so called benefits of her her labor…Half of everything that the husband paid for with his earnings.
2. If a woman gives up her income to care for her husband he should not be able to leave her penniless. That’s what many men do these days and it’s wrong. Marriage is a contract and if one partner breaks that contract then a settlement has to be made. That’s the law in this state.
Well…My opinion on this is….That woman CHOSE to give up that income, so she could set her happy but at home. Its the same thing as I said above. And just because it is a law in that state of any other state, does not make the this law, just as a lot of laws, any less Dumb to me……….And she will not be left penniless. She will receive half of everything that he worked for.
Now there were several others, that were not on my specific comment. The most annoying was.
What if the husband doesn’t allow you to work. Then if the marriage fails, he should have to pay.
ALLOW?????? I wonder if anyone hears themselves when they say their husbands do not ALLOW them to work. For someone to say, “My husband MAKES me stay home, and I deserve Alimony in the event of a divorce, since I HAVE to stay home” and say it with a straight face, is belittling. IF this is the case, then you are the one who stayed with this controlling person when you have two legs to walk out of it. This is the Unites States. Husbands do not have authority to make us do anything. We are just as equal in a marriage as they are. So I say again. ” Alimony is dumb to me.
I understand that some peoples opinions on this matter may be quite opposite of mine. That is very much okay. I do not mind hearing, and reading others opinions, even if it is a matter I am strongly against. Peoples minds become changed every day on all topics. I am very interested in seeing if someone can change mine.
But I have ONE question before anyone debates this……IF it were YOU that was the bread winner in the family, Would you find it fair that your ex receives a lump sum of your earnings every month along with the child support payment? When that person was capable of helping financially support the family, yet chose NOT too. In some cases it is 40% of the monthly un-taxed gross income, and lasts as long as half the marriage.
I just do not think I could look my husband in the eye, ever again, if he had to write me a check every month for a little less than HALF of his income, for years to come. For the better part of our marriage, I have been home. I find that payment enough. To be able to take care of my family without the stress of working outside the home. Because the taking care of the family and working outside of the home is double the work. If he was capable of taking that stress off of me, by managing all the bills and everything else financially that comes with life, ALONE, then why is that not enough…….Instead of saying, well I sat home and cooked for you, cleaned for you, made sure your dry cleaning was done, and in doing so, I was able to watch my TV shows every single day, clean at my own pace, cook you whatever I wanted, done the errands on my own time, paid all the bills out of YOUR check, bought my cloths, shoes, make up, jewelry, food I like to eat, occasional out to eat with the girls, trips, car, house, etc……But yet, if we divorce, you are giving me half your money every month..Yea, my husband does not have to ever worry about such a thing…( for more reasons than one…the most important reasons are because I respect him, and I love him, and I would never want to take from him what I did not deserve.)
Mental Thought: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, in the same situation…